Happily Ever After...

Last Week A and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary.  I spent some time reflecting on our marriage, and though it may not be a fairy tale ending, in many ways it is even better.  We are growing as a couple and learning how to make our life together.  Through this, I have already learned a few important marriage lessons and can only imagine what wisdom I will obtain over the years to come.  For now, I thought I would share the few reflections I have learned this last year.

Never give up on each other: I have a terrible tendency to want to run away from a fight.  When things get too intense, too personal, my instinct is "flight" not fight.  I want to get away from the "danger".  There have been times that I have "left" A, walked outside to get some air, gone to run an errand, tried to find some space in the midst of an argument   In all of those times, he has never given up on me.  He is always waiting when I return.  He seems to understand that I need some space from the fight, not from us, and he never gives up on me.

Choose what is truly important:  A and I have different visions of our life.  We see things differently, we like different things, and we prioritize differently.  In just the last few months, I have come to realize that we can disagree.  That there are some things worth the extra discussion, and some things that just aren't.  I am learning when to fight about  discuss things and when it will be okay if we are not on the same page.  I am also learning that I don't need to always be right (hopefully he doesn't read this!)

Don't take things too personally: This has probably been the toughest lesson for me.  When A says he doesn't like dinner or that the apartment is messy, I immediately get defensive.  I hear that he doesn't like the dinner I made, or that I am not cleaning good enough.  I am learning to let it go and that it is not about me.  He is entitled to have his opinion, just as I am entitled to mine.

Communication: This is an ongoing struggle for us.  At times we take each other for granted, forgetting to tell each other things that at the time don't seem important.   I think it's the small things that help keep us connected to the other person.  I am sure that at times A may not want to share something with me because I am so very opinionated,  but I am working on that too.  Together, we will work on finding a balance that works for us.

I am so blessed to be married to someone who loves and supports me through everything.  I am thankful everyday for A and can't wait to see what the next year brings!