Happily Ever After...

Last Week A and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary.  I spent some time reflecting on our marriage, and though it may not be a fairy tale ending, in many ways it is even better.  We are growing as a couple and learning how to make our life together.  Through this, I have already learned a few important marriage lessons and can only imagine what wisdom I will obtain over the years to come.  For now, I thought I would share the few reflections I have learned this last year.

Never give up on each other: I have a terrible tendency to want to run away from a fight.  When things get too intense, too personal, my instinct is "flight" not fight.  I want to get away from the "danger".  There have been times that I have "left" A, walked outside to get some air, gone to run an errand, tried to find some space in the midst of an argument   In all of those times, he has never given up on me.  He is always waiting when I return.  He seems to understand that I need some space from the fight, not from us, and he never gives up on me.

Choose what is truly important:  A and I have different visions of our life.  We see things differently, we like different things, and we prioritize differently.  In just the last few months, I have come to realize that we can disagree.  That there are some things worth the extra discussion, and some things that just aren't.  I am learning when to fight about  discuss things and when it will be okay if we are not on the same page.  I am also learning that I don't need to always be right (hopefully he doesn't read this!)

Don't take things too personally: This has probably been the toughest lesson for me.  When A says he doesn't like dinner or that the apartment is messy, I immediately get defensive.  I hear that he doesn't like the dinner I made, or that I am not cleaning good enough.  I am learning to let it go and that it is not about me.  He is entitled to have his opinion, just as I am entitled to mine.

Communication: This is an ongoing struggle for us.  At times we take each other for granted, forgetting to tell each other things that at the time don't seem important.   I think it's the small things that help keep us connected to the other person.  I am sure that at times A may not want to share something with me because I am so very opinionated,  but I am working on that too.  Together, we will work on finding a balance that works for us.

I am so blessed to be married to someone who loves and supports me through everything.  I am thankful everyday for A and can't wait to see what the next year brings!

What a Difference a Date Makes

A and I see each other every day.  We even talk every day.  Sometimes though, we forget to be with each other.  As I am sure it is with many relationships, we get so caught up in the goings-on of life that we forget to just enjoy our time.  A and I have been having a lot of money discussions and that usually leds to some tension.  Throw in a busy week for A and a nonstop weekend for me, and you have some stress that sneaks in.

On Sunday, we had a date.  It was nothing big.  We just went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner with a gift card from A's mom.  It was nice wonderful.  I had forgotten what is was like to just enjoy time with my husband.  I feel like our date restored balance to our marriage by releasing some of the tension that builds up as the demands of life pile on. 

A Man Worth Celebrating

Today is A's birthday!  If you ask me, this is a pretty important day to celebrate.  If you ask him, he will probably tell you that it is no big deal.  But how can this be no big deal?  A is one the most generous and selfless people that I know.  He is constantly putting others before him and has literally given the shirt off his back for others.  He loves to make people laugh.  He is amazing with our nieces and nephews, all kids really, and will one day be an amazing father.  He is a hard working, easy going, big hearted man.  The birth of someone this amazing must be, and will be celebrated!   

So Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband!  May this year be your best yet and may you know how much you are loved and appreciated by those around you! 

Oh What A Year!

I maybe should have started with this post instead of my previous one.  I don't want you to get the wrong idea and think that our finances are blinding us from all the good that happened this past year.   So here are some of the GREAT things that happened in 2011. 

In May I turned the big 3-0- and celebrated with family and friends. My sweet husband threw a surprise party and it was wonderful.  I was even blessed with out of town visitors, which made it even more memorable. 

This summer, our first real attempt at gardening was a huge success, though I probably owe some of that to my mom.  We live in an apartment which makes gardening a bit of a challenge.  My mom agreed to let us build a raised bed at her house if we paid for the materials.  We built our garden, added some seaweed mulch (again, a big thanks to mom), and watched our garden thrive.  I even learned to make freezer salsa and tomato sauce.

In July I took my 6th trip to the Appalachian region to lead a group of high school students in mission work.  As always, I was reminded of just how lucky I am and how much God has blessed me.  It is an enlightening and faith building experience for me, even after 6 years.  

August was a busy month. An opportunity arose for me to take a teaching job at a Catholic school, which has always been my dream.  The hitch was that it was not a full-time position.  I felt I couldn't pass it up and have been so happy with my decision.  Also that month, some of my best friends and I participated in our first annual Great Escape.  It was so wonderful to spend an entire weekend just hanging out, eating, and drinking.  It was like being back in college and I can't wait for the next one!! 

October brought our 1 year wedding anniversary.  I thank God everyday for blessing me with A.  I am so lucky to have found such a caring and generous person to spend my life with.  Our plan was to go out for a nice dinner, but the Brewers were in the playoff's.  We scratched dinner plans and curled up to watch the game, complete with baked potatoes, peanuts, and beer.  I wouldn't have changed a thing (except maybe a Brewers win).  We had an event filled first year and I look forward to creating more memories.

In November, A's mom was told that there was no longer evidence of disease.  She fought hard and won her battle with lung cancer.  We pray for continued good health.

December was filled with all of the wonderful activities of the season.  We enjoyed a lot of time with family and friends and ate more then we probably should.  It was a wonderful ending to the year. 

Even with the trials we encountered in 2011, we had many blessings as well.  I look forward to what 2012 has in store for us. 

A Rough Road...

At more then one point in the last six months I hated my job.  This was not the normal dislike most of us have experienced at some point in our lives.  This was full on loathing. 

I would lay in bed in the morning convincing myself that I had to get up and go to work.  Positive thoughts ran through my head: "It's not so bad".  "We need the money".  I've worked hard to get here".  "Maybe today won't be so bad".

I am enough of a realist to know that everyone has days that they would rather stay curled up in bed then face another day at work.  I also know that I shouldn't feel that way the 99% of the time.  In fact, the feeling of dread was so common, I couldn't remember the last time I didn't need a pep talk.  

So over the last few months, internal battles were waged and I was left emotionally drained.   "Would I really be happier doing something else?  Do I just not like working?  Other people have to do things they don't like, why should I be different?  What's wrong with me?  We need the money, I need to just suck it up for a few more years.  I can't let A down."

I decided it was time to move on.  This was a decision that was easier said then done.  I applied for jobs...I applied for a lot of jobs.  And I had a handful of interviews that didn't pan out.  And then months later, it happened.

I had an interview for a part-time teaching position.   I interviewed.  Got a second interview.  And was hired.  I was thrilled!  I was going to do what I truly wanted to do! I felt liberated!

A did not. 

He, understandably, was concerned with the financial aspect of my decision.  The negative thing about going form a well-paying full time job to part-time job is a substantial cut in income.  This led to a few weeks of tension in our household. 

However, the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful opportunity to not only teach, but to teach in a community in which I can share my faith.  It is an opportunity that I can not pass up even though it will mean some sacrifice in the coming year.  I strongly believe that I need to be doing something that allows me to use the talents God has given me.  Besides, in my gut, this decision just felt feels right.