Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A Rough Road...

At more then one point in the last six months I hated my job.  This was not the normal dislike most of us have experienced at some point in our lives.  This was full on loathing. 

I would lay in bed in the morning convincing myself that I had to get up and go to work.  Positive thoughts ran through my head: "It's not so bad".  "We need the money".  I've worked hard to get here".  "Maybe today won't be so bad".

I am enough of a realist to know that everyone has days that they would rather stay curled up in bed then face another day at work.  I also know that I shouldn't feel that way the 99% of the time.  In fact, the feeling of dread was so common, I couldn't remember the last time I didn't need a pep talk.  

So over the last few months, internal battles were waged and I was left emotionally drained.   "Would I really be happier doing something else?  Do I just not like working?  Other people have to do things they don't like, why should I be different?  What's wrong with me?  We need the money, I need to just suck it up for a few more years.  I can't let A down."

I decided it was time to move on.  This was a decision that was easier said then done.  I applied for jobs...I applied for a lot of jobs.  And I had a handful of interviews that didn't pan out.  And then months later, it happened.

I had an interview for a part-time teaching position.   I interviewed.  Got a second interview.  And was hired.  I was thrilled!  I was going to do what I truly wanted to do! I felt liberated!

A did not. 

He, understandably, was concerned with the financial aspect of my decision.  The negative thing about going form a well-paying full time job to part-time job is a substantial cut in income.  This led to a few weeks of tension in our household. 

However, the Lord has blessed me with a wonderful opportunity to not only teach, but to teach in a community in which I can share my faith.  It is an opportunity that I can not pass up even though it will mean some sacrifice in the coming year.  I strongly believe that I need to be doing something that allows me to use the talents God has given me.  Besides, in my gut, this decision just felt feels right. 


 

 

   

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