Happily Ever After...

Last Week A and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary.  I spent some time reflecting on our marriage, and though it may not be a fairy tale ending, in many ways it is even better.  We are growing as a couple and learning how to make our life together.  Through this, I have already learned a few important marriage lessons and can only imagine what wisdom I will obtain over the years to come.  For now, I thought I would share the few reflections I have learned this last year.

Never give up on each other: I have a terrible tendency to want to run away from a fight.  When things get too intense, too personal, my instinct is "flight" not fight.  I want to get away from the "danger".  There have been times that I have "left" A, walked outside to get some air, gone to run an errand, tried to find some space in the midst of an argument   In all of those times, he has never given up on me.  He is always waiting when I return.  He seems to understand that I need some space from the fight, not from us, and he never gives up on me.

Choose what is truly important:  A and I have different visions of our life.  We see things differently, we like different things, and we prioritize differently.  In just the last few months, I have come to realize that we can disagree.  That there are some things worth the extra discussion, and some things that just aren't.  I am learning when to fight about  discuss things and when it will be okay if we are not on the same page.  I am also learning that I don't need to always be right (hopefully he doesn't read this!)

Don't take things too personally: This has probably been the toughest lesson for me.  When A says he doesn't like dinner or that the apartment is messy, I immediately get defensive.  I hear that he doesn't like the dinner I made, or that I am not cleaning good enough.  I am learning to let it go and that it is not about me.  He is entitled to have his opinion, just as I am entitled to mine.

Communication: This is an ongoing struggle for us.  At times we take each other for granted, forgetting to tell each other things that at the time don't seem important.   I think it's the small things that help keep us connected to the other person.  I am sure that at times A may not want to share something with me because I am so very opinionated,  but I am working on that too.  Together, we will work on finding a balance that works for us.

I am so blessed to be married to someone who loves and supports me through everything.  I am thankful everyday for A and can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Three for Thursday: Fall

I love that fall has fully arrived.  The air is brisk, the trees are a variety of colors, and I can wear a scarf everyday.  Everything seems crisp and fresh.  There are so many things I love about this season, but my top three are below.

1. The sun.  I love the contrast of the air temperature and the sun.  The sun seems more intense when you are surrounded by cool air.  In the summer months, that same sun feels oppressive and sweltering  but in the fall it is appreciated and welcome.  
2. Togetherness.  There is something about fall that seems to bring my friends and family together.  Bonfires, game nights, and holidays events   Not to mention, there is an excuse for A and I to cuddle more in order to stay warm in our cool (ok, cold) apartment.   
3. Fall Foods: There are far too many to name them all, but some of my favorites are apples, and anything made with them, salted caramel mochas, and chili.  

Making My Herb Garden

This spring, my mom and I decided to make herb gardens using stair stringers and flower boxes.  Armed with only a picture, we (mostly Mom) brainstormed, constructed and created a masterpiece!  This herb garden is perfect for our narrow balcony and takes up less space then my herbs did last year.  An added bonus is that the height makes it easier to pick the herbs.

Supplies:
22 - deck screws
3 - plastic planters
2 - stair stringers
Scrap Wood 2-pieces that are 31.5 inches long, and 2-pieces that are 16 inches long

We used our stir stringers the opposite way they were intended so that they were taller and narrower.  You could use them the other way if you wanted.

We drilled holes in the stair stringers that lined up with the holes in the bottom of the planter, but ended up drilling new holes in the planter because our screw heads were too small.

Then we screwed the planters to the stair stringers.

Next we screwed the 31.5 inch boards to the back of a stair stringers.

Then we screwed one board across the front of the stair stringers and the last board across the back to provide extra support.

Here is the final product!!  Since it is pressure treated wood, I will be waiting until next year to paint it.

I added some rocks, then dirt, and planted my herbs.  It worked out great on our small patio.

Homemade Laundry Soap

In my quest to save money and live a little simpler, I decided to try making my own laundry soap.  Even though it is just two of us, I typically do about 6 loads of laundry a week.  I found an easy recipe (which was a must) and mixed it up.   I made my first batch in mid-January and just ran out this week, that means the soap lasted close to 4 months! I was unsure if I would like it but have found that it cleans well and leaves clothes brighter, even when washing in cold water.  It doesn't have a strong scent, but you can use fabric softener or add a few drops of essential oil to each load.

Cost breakdown: I bought enough of everything to make 3 batches and it cost a total of $23.  Each batch costs me about $7.67 and lasts 15 weeks or about 90 loads of laundry!  That's 8.5 cents a load!

Supplies:

55 oz Arm and Hammer Washing Soda
4 lbs Arm and Hammer Baking Soda
76 oz Borax
3 lbs Oxi Clean
3 Fels Naptha Laundry Bar  

*I have been making smaller batches and keeping it in an empty, gallon ice-cream pail.  To make a smaller batch, you can use: 19 oz washing soda, 22 oz baking soda, 26 oz Borax, 19 oz Oxi Clean, and 1 Fels-Naptha bar.  

Step One:
Using a cheese grater, grate the Fels-Naptha bars.


Step Two:
Add all ingredients into a large bowl or bucket.



Step Three:
Stir everything together.







Step Four:
Store in an air tight container.

Use: I use the scoop that came with the Oxi Clean and use one scoop per load.  When I wash A's work clothes I add an extra scoop for a little extra cleaning power!

Help, I need Somebody,

Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

~ The Beatles 

Oh how the words of this song have ruled my life the last five weeks.  Yep, that is how long it has been since I have my bunioectomy.  Those of you that know me well, know that depending on others is not a strong suite for me.  Over the years, I have grown to be fiercely independent.  It is hard for me to allow people to do things for me.  Thoughts run through my head like "I can do it myself," "Do you think I can't do it," What if you don't do it my way," or worse, "What if you let me down."  I find it is just easier less anxiety inducing for me to do it on my own.

In the last five weeks, I have not had the luxury of doing things on my own.  My recovery has left me unable to do most things without assistance.  Crutches prevent me from being able to carry most things, including my morning cup of coffee.  I've been unable to help with the majority of household tasks, so I need to rely on A to do everything from dishes, to vacuuming, to laundry.  And I haven't been able to drive anywhere, but need to find rides or ask people to pick things up for me.  This last one has been the worst most challenging for me.  

There are things to be learned from this experience.  I have had to humble myself and ask for what I need.  I have learned that people are kind and giving, and will lend a hand in any way they can.  I have learned that no one can read my mind, especially not A, and that I need to just use my voice to communicate what I need, instead of getting frustrated.

Hopefully, my recovery is nearing it's end, and for a month or so I will be able to do things on my own again.  During that time, I will rejoice in the ability to drive places, bask in the warmth of doing my own laundry, and happily carry my morning coffee.  Then, once again, I will need to ask for "Help!"  Maybe it will be easier the second time around.

Foot Frustrations

I have had bunions my whole life.  Ok, so maybe not my WHOLE life, but as long as I can remember.  Most of the time I forget I have them, unless I want a really cute pair of shoes, or I bump one of them really hard.  Since not everyone is familiar with bunions, I will take a minute to explain.  One of the joints of my big toe is sliding out of place.  This causes the bone to create a "bump' on the outside of my foot.  If you were to look at an x-ray, my feet look like this:

 (Image from www.bestpodiatristnyc.com)

My right bunion has recently become red and irritated, so I called and scheduled an appointment with my podiatrist.  The last time I saw him was when I was in middle school.  I needed insoles made so I could run track without my feet being in tremendous pain.  Even back when I last saw him, I was told that surgery was in my future. 

Turns out that the future is now.  I am at a point where they are so severe that his recommendation is to have the surgery within six months.  If I wait, I would end up with arthritis in my feet at a young age and need to have prosthetic joints put in.  Since they are so severe, I will need to have surgery on each foot at a separate time.  My first surgery will be on April 2nd which will allow me to be off my feet for two weeks, as required. The rest of the recovery will take 6-8 weeks.  

It has been a frustrating couple of weeks.  Though this surgery is far from serious, it is hard to think about the inconveniences that will occur and I hate do not like having to rely on others, which I will have to do.  Finding a time that I could fit in both surgeries was difficult as well since I do not want to take off from work (since most of it would have to be unpaid) and waiting until the summer means working around my mission trip (missing it is not an option).  I am starting to find my peace with it, and know that in the long run I will reap the benefits.  It just...well, it just sucks! 



 

Paying Myself to Workout

Yep, that's right.  I am going to start paying myself to workout.  My motivation to work out is pretty much nonexistence.  I love the thought of it and the benefits I would get if I actually did it, but I rarely make it off the couch to actually work out.  I have been inspired by something I found on Pinterest, which is really no surprise, that will hoepfully accomplish a multitude of goals. 

1. I will actually work out
2. I will spend less money on clothes, shoes, and various accessories (A will love this one!)
3. My self esteem will increase as my strength does  
4. A healthier me!!

This is how I plan on doing it.  For every half hour I work out, I get $1.  If I go everyday for a whole week, I get a $5 bonus.  The money I earn can then be spent on those items I don't need, but want, like shoes, clothes, and accessories!  Unlike my Pinterest inspiration, I have decided that I will not require myself to save up $100 before I spend any of my workout money, but that I can choose to spend it at anytime. 

Guilt free spending and a healthier me!  It's a win-win!        

What a Difference a Date Makes

A and I see each other every day.  We even talk every day.  Sometimes though, we forget to be with each other.  As I am sure it is with many relationships, we get so caught up in the goings-on of life that we forget to just enjoy our time.  A and I have been having a lot of money discussions and that usually leds to some tension.  Throw in a busy week for A and a nonstop weekend for me, and you have some stress that sneaks in.

On Sunday, we had a date.  It was nothing big.  We just went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner with a gift card from A's mom.  It was nice wonderful.  I had forgotten what is was like to just enjoy time with my husband.  I feel like our date restored balance to our marriage by releasing some of the tension that builds up as the demands of life pile on. 

A First for the New Year

I went to the gym a few weeks ago.  Yep, it only took me 16 days to talk myself into going.  I read something recently, on Pinterest of course, that said "Someone who is busier than you is running right now".  I am sure that this is true.  Many of my friends that are runners are some of the busiest people I know.  So the last two weeks I have repeated this to myself a few times each day, and I finally made it to the gym!

It has been about a year since I have worked out on a regular basis and though the numbers on the scale have not changed much, the weight has, well, it has redistributed itself.  This redistribution has settled mostly to my midsection.  The biggest issue with that is the tight pants syndrome I am starting to experience.  I hate when I have to struggle a little to button my pants :)  

Tight pants is only one reason I aim to make some changes.  I miss being "strong".  I love when my body feels and looks strong; when muscles start to define, energy is up, and I don't have to ask a guy to carry or move something.  I LOVE how I FEEL on the INSIDE when my BODY is STRONG on the OUTSIDE.  

So, my slow journey to a healthier weight is beginning now.  I say slow because realistically I know that I am not going to start out going to the gym everyday or changing how I eat over night.  Failure will come fast and swift if I make that my goal (this I know from past experience).  I am going to make small changes over time and hopefully improve my physical self.

What do you do to get motivated? 

A Man Worth Celebrating

Today is A's birthday!  If you ask me, this is a pretty important day to celebrate.  If you ask him, he will probably tell you that it is no big deal.  But how can this be no big deal?  A is one the most generous and selfless people that I know.  He is constantly putting others before him and has literally given the shirt off his back for others.  He loves to make people laugh.  He is amazing with our nieces and nephews, all kids really, and will one day be an amazing father.  He is a hard working, easy going, big hearted man.  The birth of someone this amazing must be, and will be celebrated!   

So Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband!  May this year be your best yet and may you know how much you are loved and appreciated by those around you! 

Oh What A Year!

I maybe should have started with this post instead of my previous one.  I don't want you to get the wrong idea and think that our finances are blinding us from all the good that happened this past year.   So here are some of the GREAT things that happened in 2011. 

In May I turned the big 3-0- and celebrated with family and friends. My sweet husband threw a surprise party and it was wonderful.  I was even blessed with out of town visitors, which made it even more memorable. 

This summer, our first real attempt at gardening was a huge success, though I probably owe some of that to my mom.  We live in an apartment which makes gardening a bit of a challenge.  My mom agreed to let us build a raised bed at her house if we paid for the materials.  We built our garden, added some seaweed mulch (again, a big thanks to mom), and watched our garden thrive.  I even learned to make freezer salsa and tomato sauce.

In July I took my 6th trip to the Appalachian region to lead a group of high school students in mission work.  As always, I was reminded of just how lucky I am and how much God has blessed me.  It is an enlightening and faith building experience for me, even after 6 years.  

August was a busy month. An opportunity arose for me to take a teaching job at a Catholic school, which has always been my dream.  The hitch was that it was not a full-time position.  I felt I couldn't pass it up and have been so happy with my decision.  Also that month, some of my best friends and I participated in our first annual Great Escape.  It was so wonderful to spend an entire weekend just hanging out, eating, and drinking.  It was like being back in college and I can't wait for the next one!! 

October brought our 1 year wedding anniversary.  I thank God everyday for blessing me with A.  I am so lucky to have found such a caring and generous person to spend my life with.  Our plan was to go out for a nice dinner, but the Brewers were in the playoff's.  We scratched dinner plans and curled up to watch the game, complete with baked potatoes, peanuts, and beer.  I wouldn't have changed a thing (except maybe a Brewers win).  We had an event filled first year and I look forward to creating more memories.

In November, A's mom was told that there was no longer evidence of disease.  She fought hard and won her battle with lung cancer.  We pray for continued good health.

December was filled with all of the wonderful activities of the season.  We enjoyed a lot of time with family and friends and ate more then we probably should.  It was a wonderful ending to the year. 

Even with the trials we encountered in 2011, we had many blessings as well.  I look forward to what 2012 has in store for us. 

Young, Fabulous, and...broke?

We are not actually broke, but some days it feels like it.  When I switched jobs, we knew I would have to take a drastic pay decrease.  I crunched the numbers and decided that having to limit our spending a little (ok, a lot) was worth loving my job again.  Things started out ok and A took on some side jobs to help make ends meet.  We have, however, incurred some additional expenses that we had not planned on.  These things can never be planned for, but it can make for some scary and stressful times (I am sure some of you can relate to the stress finances can cause).  And with the holidays, side jobs for A are pretty much non-existent...Anyone need a painter? ;)  So 2012 is starting out a little on the difficult side financially.

Last year, I was set on bringing our debt down and creating an emergency savings account.  Let's just say that didn't happen.  I had the best of intentions, but was unwilling to give up the quality of life A and I had been accustomed to.  The choices we made brought us to this point and so only we can make the changes necessary to improve it.  In order to be comfortable in the future, we are going to have to make some sacrifices in the present.          

This year, one of my challenges goals will be to find ways to live more simply and cut costs to help us improve our financial situation and our lives overall.  We took the first step this year by growing a garden, and I froze some salsa and tomato sauce with our harvest.  I plan on attempting this again this year and hopefully learning how to can even more items.

I am currently looking into homemade laundry soap and household cleaners.  I like this idea not only because it will save us money, but because it is better for us and the environment.  It seems like a win, win.  I will be sure to keep you posted when I try these out in case you are interested in trying them out yourself.

Let me know if you have any other ideas to help us live more simply (and fiscally responsibly) over the next year.